Traffic stupidity

Ok, I thought we had the dumbest people on Earth in the city I work in. Nope. Not even friggin' close.

Went to assist a neighboring department the other night with my volunteer department for a bad car accident. The roadway was completely blocked with cars, debris & injured people, that they were unable to get THROUGH the scene to the other side to shut down the roadway & divert traffic. So, they called us, asking us to respond from the opposite direction and stop traffic at a particular intersection and detour traffic. No problem.

I was the officer in charge on our truck. We arrived at the assigned location, turned the truck sideways across the road, had all the flashing lights on, set up the 100,000 watt light towers mounted on top of the truck to illuminate the intersection & the personnel directing traffic, and began to divert the cars coming down the road.

I had 2 other firefighters on the ground besides myself all wearing reflective vests and carrying flashlights, plus all the light from the aforementioned light towers. As cars approached, we waved them to turn with the flashlights. You would think it was self-explanatory & easily understood, right? Not by a friggin' long shot.

Time after time, cars would stop and tell me they had to get through. Sorry, the road is closed, there is a bad accident up ahead I would tell them,a s politely as I could. A few would say Ok and accept the detour. Some would tell me they were just passing through the area, and didn't know how to go around, fine - no problemo. We'd give them directions to bypass the wreck and end back up on the same road.

Occasionally, a tractor-trailer would pull up, and they only knew one route to get to where they were going, so we would also give them directions. Easy enough.

Then we had the morons, idiots, and plain old schmucks. They would pull up and say things like "I have to get through, I live down the road." or "Can't I just go past, I'm going to so and sos house down there and I don't know another way" or the ever popular, "What's going on? Is the road closed?"

To all of them, I felt like saying "DUH!" and giving them a good smack upside the head. But you can't do that and must remain professional. So to them all, I explained that the road was closed due to a serious car accident, and they would have to go around or wait. Nothing I could do. A few of them actually lived prior to the accident scene, so I would let them pass and go to their house.

Then I got the NASA rocket scientist. He wanted to go past. I tried to calmly explain to him the situation. he told me he just lived up the road and couldn't he pass and go home. I asked him where it was, because I would let him go if it was before the accident scene. He kept giving me a run-around as to where he lived, naming off different streets. I tried to explain to him that I was not familiar with all the streets he was naming, since this was not our fire district & we were assisting another department. Trying to keep my cool, and get a straight answer. Mind you, he stopped his car in the middle of the road, got out and is in the roadway talking to me. There is a line of cars behind him that can't get by. He continuously asks me to let him pass, and I keep refusing since I don't know where he's trying to go. I ask him at least times to move his car off the roadway so the other cars can pass, and each time he asks if I will let him by. "No Sir, you can't pass, please move your car off the roadway so these other vehicles can pass by". Finally, after the 6th or 7th time, he gets in his 1990 Chevy Blazer P.O.S. and pulls off the road onto the shoulder. The line of cars goes around, and he gets back out and walks up to me, irate. We went round & round again for several minutes, with him asking if he could go through, pull into a different neighborhood & walk home. Again, he could not clearly tell me if the street was before or after the accident scene, so I refused to let him pass.

I finally gave up my attempts to reason with him, get a straight answer from him, and be civil to him. I told him he was not passing by, he would have to go around or wait, and that was the end of it. And if he didn't get into his car and leave, I would have a deputy respond and have him arrested for interfering with a firefighter in the performance of his duties (a felony in this state). He got pissed, mumbled something as he turned around, got in his aforementioned P.O.S. and drove off, never to return during our time there.

Fun, huh? Not hardly. You thought that was as bad as it got? NOoooooooooooooooooooooo. Not even close, bud!

Several minutes later, another little P.O.S. comes zipping down the road and tries to disregard the directions and traffic control and simply go around the fire truck. I step out from around the truck and block his way & he stops. I walk up to the drivers window to see what this guy is thinking, and before I can open my mouth, he goes off on me. I flurry of obscenities, four-letter words & colorful metaphors pours forth from this 'gentlemans' mouth. Let me paint the picture for you. The car is an older Mitsubishi mirage, a small car to say the least. The male driver is an easy 400 pounds, his wife in the passenger seat is an easy 350 pounds, and there are two girls in the back seat that appear to be about 10-14 years old, and they each are about 250 pounds. Now, I'm not the most smelt guy in the world, but they made me look anorexic and all I could think was "That poor car!"

So, this guy is yelling at me for having the road blocked and how he has to get by, and all kinds of nasty words spew forth. Nice. I try to maintain my composure & professionalism and attempt to ask him what the problem is and find out where he is going, and see what I can do to make his life just a teensy bit better. He tells me the name of the road he wants to go to, where they live, and it is exactly where the wreck is at. I try to explain that to him, and he again goes off on me telling me that he was the one that called int he wreck and the street is before the accident scene, and he needs to get his wife home because she's diabetic & needs her medicine. My first instinct was to ask him "Well, if you called in the wreck, what the hell are you doing down here???" But, I didn't, and in between his rants of profanity and his wife trying to tell him to stop, I tied to explain to him that I have orders to follow, and they are not to let any cars through other than emergency vehicles that have to go to the scene.

He then begins screaming at me that he wants my name and badge number (hello - I'm not a cop dumbass) and that he is going to report me to whoever is in charge, blah blah blah. Again, I try to get him to calm down long enough to explain to him that if he would just stop yelling at me for a minute, I would get on the radio, call the command officer at the scene and see if we could let them go to the house to get her medicine. Finally, his wife got him to shut up and I do in fact call on the radio to the incident commander, tell him what's going on, and he says it's OK to send them on he'll find a way to get them through to get the medicine. Ok, so I tell the guy that he can go on through, and now he wants to be my best friend. Telling me that he knows we have a hard job to do, and he's sorry for losing his temper, and he had tried to get in from the other end and couldn't and had come around and found us there and he was frustrated, blah blah blah. Yeah, whatever. Go on and get out of my face.

Shortly after he left, another car pulls up. The guy driving stops, rolls the window down, turns off the motor, leans out and looks at me and asks "What's going on?" "The road is closed, you can either go that way or turn around and go back the way you came." I calmly say to the guy. "Oh, ok, cya" and he drives off. Are you friggin' kidding me????

Thankfully, after about an hour and a half of this nonsense, they got all the injured transported and the cars removed from the roadway, and the incident commander called me and told me I could open the road & we were clear to return. Oh, Thank GOD!

People really are basically stupid creatures.

Stupid People

They're everywhere.... stupid people. I mean it. Walk around during the day and make a list off all the stupid people you encounter. By the end of the day, you'll have 40 or 50 names on the list. Then, realize that half of those people are even dumber than you think.

Case in point. Responded on an EMS call recently for a reported overdose. Nothing unusual there, have them all the times. Sometimes legit, sometimes BS. Many different reasons for them. Someone was depressed, lonely, wanted attention, bored, liked folks in uniform, blah blah blah. Whatever. Anyway, I digress.

So we pull up, and there stands said idiot. His clothes look like they've been slept in for a week, but he looks like he hasn't slept in a week. Ok, this could be something. There's a girl there - woman, I should say. Half his age... and he looks 50. We start to talk to him. Detective time.

Now I have to try and figure out if A) He took something, B) What it was, C) How much he took, D) How long ago he took it, and finally E) Why he took it. So, we commence with the 20 questions. I get 60 answers - each different from the last. First he said he found the pills on the ground. Then he said he found them in friends car, first they were white, then blue now yellow. After several minutes of exhausting questioning, and the girls departure, he admits that they were hers, he was in her apartment, and he took them from her medicine cabinet without her knowledge. He didn't say anything at first, because he didn't want to get her in trouble or kicked out of her apartment. HUH??????

"Ok, let's take it from the top, Pal. You took them from the medicine cabinet, they were yellow, and you took 4 or 5 of them. What were they?"
"Don't know - there was no name on it. I thought they'd help me sleep."
"Why'd you think that?"
"Because the bottle said 'Take before Bedtime'."

"Lemme see if I got this straight....... You took 4 or 5 of some kind of pill that you don't know what it is or what it will do because you thought it would help you sleep because it said take before bedtime on the bottle?"
"Right"
Friggin' genius. Here's your damn sign.... get in the ambulance.

The kind of thoughts that keep me out of the good schools.....

Ok, Ok. I know. I have not posted on here in a VERY long time. Trust me, my powers of observation have not gone away. I still see things and pay attention to things that most others ignore, miss or just plain over look.

I will endeavor in 2006 to pot on this Blog more often. How's that for a resolution?

Anyway, I got to thinking about something the other day that had caught my notice back in September when school started, but I hadn't commented on.

Now, think back to the start of the school year for all the kiddies out there. Especially think about the 12-16 year old girls. Got your attention? Good. Now, as decent parents, what do we try and do for our children? Raise them right, of course. Good answer. This included teaching them right from wrong, making smart choices in life, etc etc. Some of the most important ones of course are staying in school, doing well in school, staying off drugs and alcohol, not getting into trouble with the law and not getting sexually active.

Now we all know that kids are having sex younger and younger these days. When an ex-girlfriend of mine told me sometime back that she had taken her 12 year old daughter to get her tongue pierced, she used the excuse "Well, you have to pick and choose your battles." Oh, hell no! She's a child! You simply tell her NO! When you're 18, and your body is your own, then you can do what ever you want to it, and hopefully you did your job as a parent and raised them right so they make those good choices. There is only one thing a tongue piercing is for, and if you allow and /or take them to get it done, it's as good as telling them it's ok to use it for the intended purpose. Anyway, I digress.

Over the summer, before school started for the year, I was reminded of a phrase I had heard many years ago but had forgotten about; Prost-a-tots. It had given me a chuckle when it was said in the context it was used in and by the person it was used by. Then, as the school year approached, we were inundated with ads for back-to-school sales and fashions, right? Right. Then I noticed the styles. The clothes these kids are wearing these days are tighter and tighter, skimpier and skimpier. Not to mention that kids, especially the girls, are developing much sooner in life than ever before. So, where does that leave us? Younger kids being more sexually active than ever, clothes are more revealing than ever, and then we send them off to the bus stop on the first day of school.

There they are, 15 year old girls, looking like 30 year old women, standing on the street corner in the early morning dim light, wearing designer clothes that leave very little if anything to the imagination. Prost-a-tots. Damn.

Am I the only one that sees the irony in this, let alone something wrong with it?

You can find stupidity everywhere

The other morning, I was driving home from work when I looked in my rearview mirror while sitting at a traffic light. I could clearly see the woman behind me through her windshield. She was yelling ....... at what???? I sat and stared at her through the mirror as she ranted and raved, slammed her hands repeatedly on the steering wheel, and waved her hands wildly. I managed to read her lips a couple times, and finally figured out, she was late for something, and in a hurry, and yelling at............... nothing but the air in her car! It was quite humorous, and good for a great laugh.

Shortly thereafter, I got behind two little old bluehaired ladies driving up the boulevard. Only problem is, they were in separate cars, riding side-by-side. Yes, folks - it was the geriatric drag races! Mind you, it was only a two-lane road, so I had no way around them. They were racing along at around 40 MPH, too bad the speed limit is 50 MPH and everyone usually does 60 MPH on that road. It took a while, but finally, one went a bit faster than the other and made an opening just big enough for me to zip around. Then of course, you could encounter a reason for a traffic jam that actually speaks the truth about the average driver, like so;




















Ever see a seemingly ordinary and everyday object or sign, and suddenly realize it could have a double meaning or be blatantly funny? Well, I am always on the lookout for such things. I thought I would share some of them with you, the following are some examples of why stupid people should not be allowed to make signs.











































Ya just gotta love when literate people are involved in signage.

As promised, tales from Wally World

Once again, I have a wonderful Wally World story to regale you all with. I think part of the reason I continue to go there is for the comic relief. Anyway, I had to go to Wally world not once, but twice last Friday. On my first visit, I was entering the store, and I passed by a woman standing in the lobby with 3 small children, and FIVE shopping carts full of groceries. Yes, five! I couldn't believe it. Let me tell you, they were overloaded, too. Each one was jammed full of food, and the racks underneath each one had large items stuffed in there as well. It was inspiring, really. I didn't know that anyone could buy so much food at one time. Only thing I can figure, is the rest of her kids must be with her husband, and he was out getting the car pulled to the front door to load up. I hope they had at least a mini-van.

After I was done, I was walking out the door to head home. I got stopped by a very pregnant girl in the parking lot. It was HOT that day, let me tell you, and I had the top down on my Jeep. She asked if I was heading in a certain direction because her ride had stranded her at Wally World, and she had no money. For a minute, I actually felt bad for her. I like to try and find the good in all people, but I'm too much a cynic. So, I often wonder when approached by people like that if they are telling me the truth or bull shitting me as part of a scam. Either way, I wasn't going the way she wanted, so I couldn't give her a ride even if I had wanted to, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. Not to mention, she probably didn't need to be riding in a lifted Jeep with the top down, being about 7 months pregnant by my estimation. Then she really made me feel bad. She asked if I could spare a dollar or two so she could get a drink out of the vending machines. Despite my cynical attitude and street smarts, I probably would have given it to her. Only problem was I didn't have any cash on me. I normally don't carry cash, and use my debit card for everything. She spotted another man getting in a car, and very politely in fact, excused herself saying maybe she would have better luck with him for a ride, and headed over to talk to him. I was just about to the point where I was going to offer to take her inside and buy her a big bottle of water or gatorade and something to eat, when she looked over to me and said that this guys was willing to giver her a ride and thanked me for being so nice. Damn.... Maybe not everyone is so bad after all.

Then, the other night, we were in Wally World once again getting food for the party. I was in a hurry to get out since I was on my way to a fire. That same silly chick tried to stop me at the door and wanted to see my receipt. I think by now, she's getting fed up with me, since this time I told her I didn't have time for her nonsense, I was going to a fire and had to go, as we breezed past her and out into the parking lot we went.

I really need to start shopping elsewhere.

Old people scare me

This is one for the archives. I was sitting in McDonald's the other day, having lunch alone during a break from a class I was taking. I sat there eating my cheeseburger and reading a book, minding my own business. My solitude was soon disturbed by a shadow across the table. I looked up to see an old man standing in front of me, he then walked around to the side of the table and got right next to me and bent his face down so it was about 6 inches from mine. Ok, not much in life bugs me more easily than getting in my space - especially if I don't know you.

Seeing he was an old man, and I was in uniform, I tried to be polite as he stared at me and said "Are you reading a book?" What I wanted to say was "Nope, I'm watching the paper decay... Here's your sign!" but I was nice and simply said yes. He then proceeded to say "You don't see too many people reading books anymore." I found that remark kind of odd, people read all the time, and I am always reading some book or another. He then proceeded to ask me what the name of it was.

I smiled and told him the title, then he wanted to know the author. I told him that as well, at which he replied "You like his writing?" Again, I had to stifle the wise-ass remark I wanted to make along the lines of "No, can't stand him, that's why I've read all the other books in this series by this author - Here's your second sign", but alas, being in uniform and technically on-duty, that would b not have been wise. So I simply told him that I indeed enjoyed reading his writing.

At that, he turned and walked off as silently as he had approached and got a cup of coffee. He then sat down at the table across from me and stared at me as I ate and continued reading. It was almost if he was astonished to see someone read and eat, and quite frankly gave me the creeps. So, I finished quickly and left, heading back to the training facility to read in peace and quiet for the remainder of our lunch hour.

Another for the books. Last week, my friend and I went on a road trip to the 4 wheel drive shop out of town to get my Jeep worked on. I picked him up at his place and he wanted to stop and get a cup of coffee and a doughnut before we hit the road. Ok, no problem. We pulled into the parking lot and were climbing out of my Jeep, and we both saw it at the same time. Two old women had pulled in ahead of us and were trying to get out of their car. Finally, they began to walk across the lot.

Snails moved faster than these two old ladies. I actually felt bad for them that age had taken its toll on them, as it will all of us some day, and their frailty left them at a greatly reduced speed. Then I saw the trembling hands and legs as they made their way across the parking lot. That's when the thought hit my brain. These two could barely walk, yet one of them had DRIVEN here! What kind of a hazard on the road did they create? Reaction times for this old woman were most certainly slowed and reflexes would never be quick enough to avoid an accident if one were to occur. My God, they both looked like they needed wheel chairs, walkers at least. Yet, here they were, driving around town in that big-assed Cadillac. About the time all these thought raced through my brain, my friend looked to me and said exactly what I was thinking - he having the same thoughts I had. Neither of them belonged on the road, they looked like they should be playing Bingo at a nursing home. I only hope that they don't wind up killing themselves or someone else on the road as they meander along their way.

Finally, the last one of the bunch is once again at my favorite local neighborhood Wally World. Again, I don't know why I continue to shop there. I went in to pick up 3 specific items last week I needed. I figured I would be in and out in under 7 minutes, since I knew exactly where each item was and I would use the express self-checkout lane. There are 4 of them in the store, 2 were out-of-service, one had 3 people in line and the 4th had a little old lady making a purchase of 1 half-gallon container of milk. Cool, this should be fast. NOPE! Was I ever in for a surprise. This little old lady scanned the item, and pressed the cash button when asked for method of payment, then proceeded to start shoving nickels in coin collector as if it were a slot machine. Yup, she was paying for her $2.69 half-gallon of skim milk entirely with nickels! Why not pennies!?!?!?!?!? Make it more interesting. I turned to go to the other lane, only to find that 3 more people had gotten into that lane and it would be no quicker than to stand and watch Granny feed the slot machine. Sheesh.

YOU! Out of the gene pool!

Ok, once again I feel the need to vent about the daily stupidity that surrounds us. A couple weeks ago, I was driving to work. It had been a chilly night, and frost had formed on all the windows. Me being the person I am, I went outside early and warmed up my vehicle before the commute to work. As I was making my trek, I was approaching a side street when car pulled right out in front of me and and cut me off. I had to get on the binders pretty damn hard to avoid hitting it. Damn if every single window on the car that cut me off was frosted over. This idiot couldn't see anything along side or behind him. In addition, the side mirrors were frosted over as well. Needles to say, this schmuck was an accident waiting to happen. Would be great if a police car, fire engine or ambulance came up from behind with lights flashing and siren blaring trying to get to an emergency - this guy wouldn't know what it was or which way to go.

The other morning, I was on my way to work. I needed gas, and pulled into the station. The thought of having to shell out over $2.00 a gallon for gas is at best, insane. Now, since the Squirt was in the back seat, I always use the stations that have card readers and pay for gas off my debit card. This is great, except for when the printer for the receipt is out of paper. So I had to get her out of the car seat and go inside anyway, so I could get a receipt so I don't screw up my bank account by not recording the purchase. I went in and patiently waited for the clerk to decide to help me. I was the only one in line, mind you. This moron was too busy talking to the other clerk about some mundane soda situation, to be bothered with helping me. Finally, the 2nd clerk asked the 1st one to help me. As he approached, he stopped, turned back to the other clerk and continued the conversation. I finally had to speak up and ask him to break away from his intriguing discussion of soda fountains to get me my damn receipt before he made me late for work.

This morning, another gas station, another moronic clerk. It must be an omen. Must you have an I.Q. of less than 70 to work at a gas station? Again, the Squirt was with me, so I used the card reader and got my gas. I was on my way to help move a couch for a friend. I wasn't running late, but I like to be on time. So, I got my gas, and what do you think happened? You got it - no paper again. I just shook my head. How hard is it to put paper in the damn printers? I pulled up to the station, and this time I was right in front of the door. I decided to leave the Squirt in the vehicle with the doors locked, since I could see her from the counter. I kept my eye on her the entire time I stood in line behind two schmos who were buying beer and cigarettes. mind you, it was 8:15 in the morning. These two knuckleheads were hitting on the clerk with gusto. Mind you, she was nothing worth looking at to begin with. I know, that's an extrememly politically incorrect thing to say, but hey - it was the truth. Anyway, I waited patiently while she flirted right back with the two schmos and left. I then stepped up to the counter and asked for a receipt. She proceeded to tell me that she needed my card to swipe it to print a receipt. This sounded a bit fishy to me, and I asked why since I already swiped my card to pay and I didn't want to be charged twice. She stated that she had to swipe the card again to get the receipt. I still was skeptical, but I gave it to her just so I could get my receipt and get on with my day. I stated something to the effect of "Can you make this any harder to get a receipt?" She just gave me one of those smug grins and handed over the receipt, telling me to have a nice day. I started to walk out, and about the time I hit the door, she turned to the person behind me in line and said "Mr. Attitude, huh?" at which I spun around and very loudly retorted "You got that right!" and left.

I hate stupid people.